Being Love

The makings of a daily mantra

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It’s been a busy few weeks, so I’m glad to be claiming time for this column today. The busy-ness is all good….family in town, celebrations with lifelong friends who are having a major milestone birthday (I’m right behind them), lots of activity on the book front, new retreats coming up. And, yesterday, a gift that at one point in my life I never expected to have…the birth of our first great grandchild!

All of this put life in perspective when I had a coaching session with a client this morning. She was wrestling with a family situation that has caused her pain for quite some time, and together we were exploring what A Course in Miracles has to say about the past, forgiveness, and the possibility of choosing peace in the present moment.

At one point, she began doing something I think all of us do. She started listing the good things in her life to counterbalance the thing that was upsetting her.

“Well, I have wonderful friends.”

“I have a good life.”

“I have so much to be grateful for.”

And of course, all of that was true.

But I found myself thinking about how often we use gratitude as a negotiation with the ego.

The ego says, You don’t have what you want. You aren’t getting enough. Something is missing.

And then we answer back, Yes, but look at all these other things I have.

It’s almost as if we’re trying to convince ourselves that we should be happy.

It reminds me of saying, Well, sure, I have a flesh-eating disease, but at least I like my hair.

The particulars change, but the strategy is the same. The ego remains convinced that something essential is wrong, and we’re simply piling good things on the other side of the scale, hoping they outweigh the pain.

But I don’t think joy actually works that way. True joy doesn’t depend on the balance sheet.

It doesn’t depend on people behaving the way we want them to behave. It doesn’t depend on our relationships, our health, our accomplishments, our children, our bank accounts, or our circumstances. It isn’t something we earn after we’ve finally accumulated enough evidence that life is good.

As I was speaking with my client, something began coming through me. I heard myself saying the words that are ours to say when we’re not looking outside ourselves for joy:

I love my life—all of it. The seeming goods and bads. I love being me. I bring love wherever I go. I am radiating love. I am constantly allowing love to flow through me from Source.

I am abundant. I am well. I am a shining light. I love sharing my light. I love basking in the happiness of who I am, no matter what I’m doing.

I could be clipping my toenails, and I’m having the time of my life.

And then these words arrived:

I love being love.

Not I love being loved.

Not I love being appreciated.

Not I love when things work out.

Simply:

I love being love.

What an amazing thing, really, to come into this physical world and be love here.

To be surrounded by souls wearing different costumes, playing different roles in our lives. To remember that we’re all helping one another wake up. To witness the contrast, the challenges, the misunderstandings, the joys, and the heartbreaks, and still say:

This is beautiful.

This is holy.

I’m grateful to everyone because each person is playing a part in my awakening, and maybe I’m playing a part in theirs.

Maybe this is what the Course means when it says that every instant is a clean, untarnished birth.

The past is gone. The future isn’t here. This moment is all there is. And in this moment, I can choose love. I can choose joy. I can choose peace. I can remember:

I love being love.

In the continued busy-ness of life, with all its gifts, this is a mantra I want to remember.

Sending blessings,

Deb

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A NOTE TO MY READERS: I write “A World of Your Own” as a member of the Iowa Writers’ Collaborative, which is led by Julie Gammack, of Des Moines. I’m honored to be part of this group, featuring the diverse voices of more than 70 professional writers and journalists across the state of Iowa. I encourage you to check out their columns.