Getting Rid of the Voices in Your Head
Years ago, I mentored a woman who was writing a book about leadership. She wanted to build her career as a public speaker and knew that authoring a book would build her credibility and her business.
I’d heard her speak and was impressed by how much wisdom she shared from her own life stories. So when I read the rough draft of her manuscript, I was surprised to see that she hadn’t really written it. Instead, she’d compiled it from the work of others.
On every page, she’d quoted two or three other authors and speakers about leadership—and given them proper credit—but she hadn’t told her own stories. She was sharing other people’s voices, but not her own.
“Where are your stories?” I asked.
She thought for a minute. “Well, I didn’t think I needed them. These other people are way more important. They’re the ones I always listen to.”
Oh.
Other people’s voices.
When you think about the books that have stuck with you, I’m guessing they’ve been ones in which the story was so real, the voice so true. The authors took a big risk—to commit their own words to paper, to listen to their own inner voice.
So how do you get other people’s voices out of your head when you sit down to write—or when you do anything in life?
Often when I’m mentoring writers, I do a guided meditation that takes them to a soundproof booth in their mind. Inside that booth is a small writing desk, a chair, paper and a pen. Through that glass booth, the writer can see everyone who has ever had a voice in their life: their parents, siblings, extended family, teachers, news commentators, government leaders, their first crush and their first mechanic.
The circle gets wider and wider, with more and more voices outside that booth. You can see all the people who have influenced you, telling you that you’ll never succeed or be enough with the simple and devastating words, “Who do you think you are?”
Or maybe those voices promised a lifetime of happiness or pointed out the zebras at the zoo or taught you how to count and spell or sing. Voices of fear, voices of wonder, voices of dread and desire and on and on and on. So many voices that they’ve become your soundtrack, indistinguishable and ever-present.
In the meditation, you can see all these people, but through the soundproof glass, their voices are silenced. You acknowledge them and watch them disappear. Now, in the stillness of that booth, the only voice you hear is your own. You pick up your pen, write down the words, “What’s true for me is.....” and you continue writing.
Try this. Then do it over and over again. Do it as a practice for a week, two weeks, a month, Do it enough times that you get used to the sound of your own voice. So you know how your body feels when you’re attuned to conversation with yourself.
Do it until you can hear and feel the spiritual guidance or inner muse flowing through you. Until you become so well acquainted with your own voice that you can understand and recognize the pattern and vibration of it—and so you can recognize the imposter and escort it out of the soundproof booth.
This is the voice you can trust.
You get to to be there for yourself, to listen to the hardships and challenges you went through, and to say at the end of the day, “It’s okay, I came through it. I’m stronger now. I have the power within to be who I truly am.”
The truth is, I want to know you so I can know myself. And together, we’ll know we’re not alone.
So get rid of the voices in your head. Remember who you are. Be your own source. Write your own quotable quotes. Throw out all the pages, all the words that sound like someone else, and simply be you—as only you know yourself to be.
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A NOTE TO MY READERS: I write “A Whole New World” as a member of the Iowa Writers’ Collaborative, which is led by Julie Gammack, of Des Moines. I’m honored to be part of this group, featuring the diverse voices of more than 50 professional writers and journalists across the state of Iowa. I encourage you to check out their columns.
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I too needed that reminder as I struggle with an article with a subject so dear to my heart. Sure I need some authoritative quotes, but I also have to set them aside and write with my voice. Thanks!
Thank you Deb! I really needed this tonight. 🙏